34 Weeks

Friday, 25 October 2013

How far along: 34 weeks

How big baby is: 4 ¾ pounds and 18 inches is average for this week

Baby is the size of: a cantaloupe

Baby’s photo this week:

Baby’s development: Her fat layers are filling her out and her skin is getting smoother.

Mommy’s belly:

Baby’s movements: Baby A is still super active. I love it! It was so neat to watch her during my ultrasound yesterday. I could see her breathing movements, which the doctor said is really good, and she was smacking her little lips and sticking out her tongue. I could see her little clenched fists moving around near her face. She just looked so sweet and perfect!

Symptoms: I’m still just having the usual aches and pains - the back pain gets worse each week but that’s to be expected as big as my belly has gotten.

Food cravings: I don’t really have cravings anymore. I am actually having a hard time eating “normally” now. I can’t eat much at a time - there’s just no room in there! But after a tiny meal, I am hungry just a couple of hours later. “Three meals a day” just doesn’t work for me right now, but that’s okay.

Emotions: This week everything seems to make me cry. It’s super embarrassing but I’m just so emotional! I can’t wait to get a little more control over my emotions. Honestly, I am continually surprised at how emotionally fragile I have been at different times during this pregnancy. I read that I should expect that, given my history, but somehow I just thought it wouldn’t affect me. I guess once I have learned how easily a baby can be lost it is hard to completely let go of the fear that it might happen again, no matter how far into the pregnancy I get. And the strangest thing is, the farther I get into the pregnancy, the more frequently I have had those worrisome days. I am just trying to give them to the Lord and trust Him to take care of everything.

Sleep: My leg issues are getting worse and worse! I think last night I woke up at least twice an hour with numb legs and had to roll over and stretch and move my legs and feet.

What I am looking forward to: What’s the point in pretending there is anything else on my mind? I am looking forward to this baby’s birthday! I’m getting very impatient to meet her. I can’t wait to meet her!

33 Weeks

Friday, 18 October 2013

How far along: 33 weeks

How big baby is: Well, babycenter.com says the average baby at this stage weighs just over four pounds and is about 17 inches long. It’s safe to say that baby A weighs a little more than that.

Baby is the size of: a pineapple

Baby’s development: She is losing that wrinkled look and her skeleton is hardening.

Mommy’s belly:

Baby’s movements: Sometimes it feels like she is trying to hatch she gets so crazy in there. A couple of times I have sworn I could feel her fingers scratching at my uterus.

Symptoms: I’m just tired and achy, but so happy to still have a healthy and growing baby!

Food cravings: I haven’t had any cravings and I’m starting to get picky about food again. The other day my father-in-law was suggesting restaurants and everything he mentioned sounded terrible! I have been wanting to get some Italian food, but my husband doesn’t really love that, so we haven’t gone to Olive Garden. I’ll have to find someone else to go with me!

Emotions: I am doing pretty well. I did let myself get worried for about an hour the other night when I woke up and didn’t feel her move for a while. I just prayed and asked God to show me that she was alright and to calm my fears. I hate that I still do that to myself sometimes!

Sleep: It’s getting harder and harder to get comfortable in bed, but I’m definitely sleepy enough to fall asleep in spite of that. I do wake up every hour or two with restless or numb legs and have to roll over and stretch. Most nights I only have to get up once to use the restroom, which is surprising.

Anything unusual: This may be a little personal, but I have had dry and itchy nipples lately. I know that my body is changing and preparing for the days when I will nurse this baby, but it certainly has been uncomfortable. I have started putting lanolin on them once a day to keep them from being so itchy as well as putting wet tea bags on them once a day. I read that the tannic acid in the tea will not only help my discomfort but can also start to toughen my nipples a bit to help me prepare for breastfeeding. I have no idea if it will really help, but I hope it does at least a little bit.

What I am looking forward to: I am just desperately looking forward to holding this sweet little girl in my arms! I can’t wait to see her, hold her close, kiss her little head, ooh and ah over every sweet little detail. I can’t wait to nurse her and nurture her. I am always thinking about her. No matter what I’m doing I am imagining what it will be like when she is here and just anxiously awaiting that day! I am also excited to see how Penny does when Ariana arrives. Penny is very excited about her baby sister. She still hugs and kisses my belly every night. Any time we find an article of clothing that she has outgrown she insists that I save it for Ariana. She practices taking care of her baby dolls and loves to see the babies in the nursery at church. I just can’t wait!

A Letter

Dear Ariana,

Oh, how I am longing to hold you in my arms! I have about eight weeks left in my pregnancy but it feels like forever. Sometimes I miss you. I actually miss you. I know I am still carrying you and you’re with me everywhere I go, but I need to see you and kiss you and snuggle you. I can’t wait to meet you!

I want you to know that your daddy and I (and a lot of other people, actually) prayed for you for a long time. I mean that we begged God for you. We wanted you so very much. I wanted to tell you the story of how you became our little miracle.

You see, we started asking God to give us another baby more than two and a half years ago. We asked and we asked, but He kept telling us no. For over a year we waited but still nothing changed; God didn’t give us a baby. That was a hard time for me. I knew that I was asking God for something good, for something wonderful, but He was not allowing me to have that blessing. I searched for His reasons, but couldn’t understand at the time.

Then, one day in July of 2012, I found out I was expecting a baby. I was ecstatic. God had heard my prayer! But just a few short weeks later I found out that something was wrong. The doctor told me I had an ectopic pregnancy, meaning that the pregnancy was in my tube instead of my womb. The baby would not survive and I needed surgery or I would be in danger myself. I was devastated. This wasn’t the first time this had happened to me. Before your big sister was born, I had an ectopic pregnancy and went through the same thing. My heart was broken as I said goodbye to a baby I would never get to meet.

Still, I knew that God was capable of answering my prayers. I asked again (and again and again) for another baby. And two more times, he answered yes. But both of those times, He took my babies to heaven before my belly even had time to grow. In less than five months, I lost three babies. I began to lose hope. I became very sad and struggled at times to find God’s purpose in everything. But He showed me that no matter what happened He would never leave my side. He was helping me to grow and to lean on Him and trust Him in these hard circumstances.

Not long after going through all of this, and still asking God to give us a child, I found out that my chances of having a healthy pregnancy were pretty slim. I had only one fallopian tube left. (I had lost one during surgery.) And my ovaries were not able to do their job properly. They were small and running out of eggs quickly. My doctor told me that my chances of getting pregnant were about the same as they are for a 40-year-old woman. And then he said that even if I did get pregnant, there was a 50/50 chance that it would be ectopic again. Basically, getting pregnant wouldn’t be easy and would probably be dangerous.

Still, I prayed. I wanted you. I felt in my heart that our family still needed one more person - you. Imagine my surprise, and my doctor’s surprise, when a month after he delivered such hopeless news I found out I was pregnant with you. I was very scared at first. I was so afraid I would lose you too. After all, I had only one living child at the time, your sister, and four babies in heaven. I fervently prayed that God would allow us to keep you, to meet you, to raise you. The day we saw your heartbeat was one of the best days of my life. You were safe and you were growing. I almost couldn’t believe it. There were still days of worry, and even now, as I am just weeks away from meeting you, I have days of anxiety. But God has answered our prayers and brought you into our lives.

Ariana, you are a miracle. All new life that God creates is a miracle. But you are a special miracle. You came to us against the odds, because God willed it, because He answered our prayers. I hope you never wonder whether or not you are wanted or loved because you are very much wanted and loved by us. As a family, we prayed (even your sister) every single day asking God to bring you to us. And now, we thank God for you every day!

I love you so much sweet girl. I cannot wait to meet you.

Love, Mommy

32 Weeks

Friday, 11 October 2013

How far along: 32 weeks (Only 8 weeks left! Or 9 or 10… but still… I’m getting closer!)

How big baby is: The average for a 32 week old baby is a little below 4 pounds, but at my appointment yesterday, baby A was measuring at about 4 pounds, 12 ounces, which is the 68th percentile for her age and almost 2 weeks ahead of the average. Big girl! Yikes! My doc says that she is on track to be as big as my first daughter was (8 lb. 9 oz.) or a tiny bit bigger. What can I say? I grow ‘em big!

Baby is the size of: a jicama… I know, who buys jicama? Seriously, where do they come up with this stuff? :)

Baby’s development: She now has toenails, fingernails, and hair on her head!

Mommy’s belly:

Baby’s movements: The movements seem to be changing. Although I occasionally still feel a sharp kick or jab now and then I feel mostly nudging and (attempts at) stretching. She is still quite active, which I’m grateful for.

Symptoms: I wouldn’t say I have any “symptoms” other than the normal aches and pains. I’m having a hard time with back pain, but trying to deal by doing stretches and simple exercises. This belly is heavy and big to be carrying around everywhere!

Food cravings: I don’t think I’ve had any true cravings this week. Not that I can remember anyway. But I do still love sweets. I’m trying not to eat too many though.

Emotions: I am starting to feel a little apathetic and unsociable. I don’t mean to be that way, but I am always tired and uncomfortable and would usually rather just relax at home. I guess I’ll have to learn to get over that though, with the holidays coming.

Sleep: I. Am. Exhausted. Many days I seriously feel as though it’s 2:00 in the morning and I’m walking around like a zombie trying to function. It’s crazy. I’m sleeping 8 to 9 hours at night. Well, I’m in bed 8 to 9 hours at night. I wake up extremely frequently so maybe I’m getting 7 hours of sleep, but still, it doesn’t seem to matter how much sleep I get. I always want more. :)

Anything else: I wrote my birth plan this week. I know that I won’t get everything I want and that I can’t control all of the circumstances, but it feels good to have my wishes written down so that the nurses and doctors can at least know what I prefer when there is a choice one way or another. I even made a little list for the postpartum nurses to (hopefully) ensure that I get a room at the end of the hall away from their desk and other things like that. There was so much I didn’t know to plan for last time and I want to be a little more vocal about my wishes this time around. Besides, this is my last time to do this. I want to do it my way!

What I am looking forward to: I don’t know if it truly qualifies as something I’m “looking forward to” but we are going to do the hospital tour next week. Although that won’t be exciting, I will be glad to feel more informed on what to expect when delivery day arrives. I delivered little P at Hillcrest so Saint Francis will be different, I’m sure. I’ll just want to know where to go and find out how much freedom I will or won’t have on the big day.

We had Grandpa take some maternity photos for us this week. It was really fun and we got some really cute pictures! Here are a few…

Only 8 more weeks to go!

31 Weeks

4 October 2013

How far along: 31 weeks

How big baby is: 16 inches long, 3 ½ pounds

Baby is the size of: a coconut

Baby’s development: Baby Ariana is most likely heading for a growth spurt. She is also able to turn her head from side to side and is starting to develop more regular sleep and waking patterns.

Mommy’s belly:

Baby’s movements: This girl is a mover and a shaker! Sometimes she will move for hours without letting up. There are a lot of times when she kicks so hard it hurts and other times when it feels like she’s stretching out and trying to hatch out of my body! She makes me uncomfortable, but I’m so happy that she is healthy and growing.

Symptoms: I don’t know what to say now when people ask, “How are you feeling?” Honestly, I don’t feel great - ever. But most people don’t really want to know that I don’t feel well, so I usually just say, “I feel good.” In reality, my back always hurts, my joints feel loose, I’m always sleepy, and my restless legs are out of control. Sitting through a regular church service is excruciating because I can’t sit still that long. I feel like I’ve been pregnant forever, but I’m still so excited to feel terrible and be huge because that means that in about 9 weeks I’ll have a sweet new baby in my arms!

Food cravings: A couple of nights ago I had a dream that I really wanted a caramel frappe from McDonald’s but no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t get it. The dream seemed to go on forever. When I woke up I wanted that frappe so badly that after Penny was up and dressed we went to McDonald’s and I got one. And it was as delicious as I knew it would be.

Emotions: I’m getting so excited and impatient to meet this little girl! After seeing her face at last week’s ultrasound I am having a hard time waiting! Nine weeks might not be very long, but right now it seems like forever!

Sleep: I am so very tired that I sleep, but I wake up every hour because I’m uncomfortable. Thank goodness I’m able to sleep though. I know a lot of pregnant women have trouble with insomnia and that would make me crazy!

What I am looking forward to: I’m always looking forward to the next doctor’s appointment when I get to see this sweet girl on the ultrasound screen! I go every other week now, so it’s nice to see her so frequently!